


Movie Night

by leigh_adams



Series: Of Snogging and Broomsticks [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: rarepair_shorts, Dialogue-Only, F/M, Movie Reference, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-30
Updated: 2011-12-30
Packaged: 2017-10-28 12:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/307821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leigh_adams/pseuds/leigh_adams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The things you don't get, Stewart, could probably fill a book."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Movie Night

**Author's Note:**

> Part 8/13 of a prompt table for rarepair_shorts.

"I don't get it."

"The things you don't get, Stewart, could probably fill a book."

"I'm sorry, who's the Ravenclaw in this relationship?"

"Gryffindor is not synonymous with stupid."

"No, but it is synonymous with brash, hot-headed, tempermental... _OOF_. What the hell was that for?"

"Quit slagging on my House."

"But it's _so easy_."

"..."

"You're cute."

"You're an idiot."

"Nu uh. Ravenclaw, remember?"

"Are we really back to that?"

"Yes."

"Whatever. How the hell is she wearing that thin dress? It's snowing."

"What's wrong with Raoul's hair? His hair's longer than my Mum's. You know, if he went to Hogwarts, he'd be a Gryffindor."

"And the vapid look in his eyes has nothing to do with that statement, right? Remember, whether or not you get to snog me hangs on your answer."

"Of course not. He's the epitome of bravery, rescuing his love from the evil Phantom whose hair looks a bit like Snape's."

"Good boy."

"I'm not a dog, you know."

"Hey, if the shoe fits..."

"Why are women so obsessed with shoes?"

"If Raoul's a Gyrffindor, what does that make Christine? All she does is stand around, sing, make cow eyes, wear scandalous outfits and lead on two men."

"Hufflepuff. Definitely Hufflepuff. You know, she kinda looks like my ex-girlfriend. She was a Hufflepuff."

"Are you really bringing up your ex right now?"

"What? It's just Laura."

"Who used to shag you."

"We never shagged."

"I don't believe you."

"We didn't!"

"Uh huh. _Right_."

"Cynic. Do you really think two people can have a meaningful and committed relationship without having carnal knowledge of one another?"

"...Did someone transplant your personality, Ackerly?"

"Do you really think I'm that shallow?"

"..."

"Your silence is admission of your guilt. But normally, you'd be right. Laura was my girlfriend at Hogwarts."

"D'awww, did ickle Stewie have a cute wittle crush?"

"Kay, now you're just making a mockery of my innocence."

"Or lack thereof."

"I'm hurt by your true feelings, Bell. Do you really think I'm some shallow bed-hopping Quidditch player who's more into looks than brains?"

"Do you want me to answer that truthfully?"

"Ouch. That was harsh."

"I'm only kidding."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"Are not. You're just using me for my looks. You're only with me to help with positive exposure in the tabloids."

"I hate to break it to you, Stewart, but I was in the tabloids when you were taking your OWLs."

"Cougar."

"Newbie."

"Cou- _OOF_. Bloody hell, you vicious harpy, you have pointy elbows!"

"Stop calling me a bloody cougar!"

"If the shoe fits..."

"Why don't you go find some young, nubile slag to watch the movie with, then?"

"Nah, I like my hot older woman. She smells better."

"Hmph."

"And she tastes better."

"Taste? Really, Stewart, you... _mmm_..."

" _Much_ better."

" _Mmm_ , Stewart?"

"Yes."

"Turn off the movie."

"As you wish."


End file.
